Gears of War: Sacred Bonds
by MissScorp
Summary: There is only one day on Damon Baird's mind as he and the members of Delta evacuate Jacinto...((DB/OFC))
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: **This story is set at the end of GOW 2 but follows my other GOW story- End Game in terms of the flashback sequence (coming tomorrow or Monday). This will be a two or possibly three chapter story, will see once I finish writing chapter two...

**Disclaimer:** Own nothing but my take on the events and Lia...

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_**Prologue**_.

_Your world can end in the blink of an eye. One event, one unexpected twist of fate... and suddenly the world as you knew... is gone. Forever. All that you held dear, all that you held close... is washed away in a sea of distant memory. Life... is cruel. Of this I have no doubt. But life continues on... with, or without you. One can only hope that one leaves behind a lasting legacy. But so often, the legacies we leave behind... are not the one we intended…_ (Queen Myrrah of the Locust Horde, addressing the Locust troops that had managed to flee the Hollow before the detonation of the Lightmass Bomb.)

**King Raven KR-293, Jacinto airspace, Mass evacuation of Jacinto City, Winter, 15, A.E.**

I'm not what you'd call a _people _person. Most people already know that by now. And no, there's not some lovable guy inside me just waiting to get out once all the dust and debris settles. Look, it's not that I'm not a nice, sociable guy. Far from it in fact. It's more that I don't like ninety-five percent of the remaining population. But that's because I find that ninety percent of those remaining people are dumb. I mean, I can't help that they'd be better off as plant food, right? There's only a handful of people in this world that I honestly give a shit about-the guys in Delta Squad being a prime example. I stick with the guys in Delta because they've got IQs in the three-figure range and because I know that when the shit hits the fan- and I mean _really _hits the fan, I know these guys will always have my back. We've been knee deep in the muck so many times in the last few years that you learn who your buddies are. And they _need_ me, man. I provide a service to the team that has proven invaluable in the past, and that makes me useful to a world that had little use for me before the Locust decided to show up. I'm sure that my mother is turning over in her grave about that-fucking bitch.

That brings me to the other person that I tend to give a shit about: Lilia Carmine; all fire, logic, and reason-and my wife for the last eighteen years, so yeah, she definitely means _something _to me. Okay, I admit it, she means a whole lot more than something to me. I don't go around wearing my heart on my sleeve like some guys, but I'd give my life for Lia and she knows it. Out of the corner of my eye I see Dom looking at a picture-_the _picture that he's been carrying with him for the last ten years, in fact. I try not to stare, but if I turn in my seat just a little I can see the grief and pain that flickers in Dom's dark eyes. I dunno what happened down in the Hollow, neither Marcus or Dom have talked about what they found, what they saw. But I know Dom looks like hell, which means that whatever went on after we split up, wasn't good. Marcus can't raise Anya on the com, and is trying to look like he ain't sweating over it. But I know that's bullshit. I've pretty much figured out what's been going on between them. I'm the guy who's kept that he's married a secret for the last two years. Shit, what does it matter who knows, anyway? Most of commands dead at this point. Whoever is left is going to have their hands too full to give a shit about whether an enlisted man is involved with an officer. And shit yeah man, I know what a lucky son of a bitch I am. I might not have been able to live with my wife out in the open, but I've had the security of knowing that she _is _mine. Marcus and Anya? They've just been standing at the edge of the dance floor for the last fifteen-sixteen years.

Dom glances over at me and I can see his misery and sadness as clear as day. I want to say something but shit, I don't have Cole's unerring ability to say something poetic or Marcus's ability to offer words of comfort when they are needed the most. He gets up and joins Marcus at the Raven's door. "Anya, can you read me?" Marcus says again into the dead radio. Give it up man, she would answer if she was able. But it's clear that Marcus is worried about the lieutenant. Not like I can blame him. I'm worried about Lia, about Alex. "Anya, come in." But when no answer is forthcoming, he seems to fold in on himself, and says in a gruff voice that doesn't betray a hint of his grief or his fear; "Anya."

"I'm sorry Marcus," Dom says. As if he's got anything to be sorry for. Guy's wife has been gone for the last ten frigging years. But he and Marcus share a look before they turn to look out the Raven door. What the hell. I get up to join them.

I can't stand looking down at the devastation below, not with the thought in the back of my mind that Lia or Alex could be down there somewhere and waiting for me to come for them, to rescue them. Besides, I know how fucked we are. I was there when Marcus and Dom dropped the Hammers on that Lambert Brumak. I saw the cataclysmic reaction that erupted the second the frigging thing blew up. So I look up instead. The sky's full of smoke and King Raven, every last aircraft we could get off the ground, heading for somewhere _classified_, same as the boats and whatever else got out of Jacinto by road. Like this, with all these Ravens in the air, it looks like we still have an Air Force. But this is all that we have, this is all that's left. This is the entire fucking Coalition. And Chairman Prescott believes that we can rebuild our world? Yeah, he's full of shit. One Raven seems to be in a hurry. It's cutting through the other Ravens, and I look into the open bay as it is passes, searching. Most Gears were ordered to wear protective head gear and full body armor. But not lunatics like me, Marcus and Dom and Cole. I wonder where Cole is at the moment. And wouldn't you know it, there he is, standing in the open door of the Raven that was in a hurry. He's seen us. We draw level with his bird. I'm happy to see him, and I'm not afraid to let it show. He taps his chest plate and gives us a nod considering how we can't talk to each other. But I'm the only one who sees him mouth, _she's safe_. I release the breath that I didn't realize I was holding.

Then I see a figure get up and stand next to Cole. It's Anya, who doesn't look like she knows what to do now that she is standing across from Marcus and sees that he's alright. She does this little wave kind of deal and puts her hand on her chest, staring across at Marcus until the Raven banks away. And Marcus continues staring right back until she's a dot on the horizon. Suddenly something clicks and my earpiece is working again. About frigging time. I can hear the voice traffic now. Tons of people are trying to find out who's out there, who else made it out of Jacinto, if their friends are alright. There's only one voice that I want to hear, however. I'm half tempted to radio her but then I hear Cole's voice. "Hey, Delta. You receivin'?"

It's Marcus that answers. "Yeah, Cole Train."

"So, any word on Dom's lady? Was it another false lead?"

It's the question I wanted to ask, but didn't have the balls to express. Even my asshole meter has a bar on it that says _don't go there._ And I can see the expression on Dom's face. Something isn't right and you don't need to be a genius to figure out what that _something _is. _Shit, shit, shit_... is all I can think at that moment.

"I found her... yeah, Cole. I found her." Dom's breathing heavily with the effort of keeping a lid on the emotions just below the surface. Shit, I don't need to hear his next words to know that something beyond bad went on in the Hollow. "She's dead," he says, all soft and quiet and fucking _normal _sounding. Yeah, like he's really that cool and collected. I know I wouldn't be if it was Lia. "I helped her to go. She's in a better place now."

That is _not _what I anticipated hearing him say. No, that is not what I was expecting at all. I tell myself that I must have heard wrong. That that couldn't be what Dom said. There's no way that Dom could have shot his wife. There's just no way. Oh shit... oh shit... oh _shit_. It all made sense now. Dom had been staring at that picture of him and his wife and thinking of all the memories. And if he is anything like me, the one memory that is the most prevalent in his mind is of the single most important day that happened in his life. The one that turned a boy into a man...


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: **This chapter is a sequel of sorts to my other one shot- **The End Game**. That story should canonically be read before this one but it is not necessary to understand the events of this one.

Also, yes, a lot of the conversation and theme can be taken out of either Karen Traviss's novel _Jacinto's Remnant or from Gears of War 2 directly._

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing but for Lia and the general theme and concept of my own particular storyline which I am fitting into that written by Karent Traviss and Epic.

* * *

_I do not see what my son finds so appealing about the Carmine girl. She is a commoner, a nobody. My son needs to marry a girl of class and sophistication, who is his social equal and whom will be an asset to him and not a disgrace. I fear that if drastic measures are not taken soon that he will bring shame upon this family by marrying that gutter trash. I will not allow him to tarnish our reputation like that_. (Elinor Lytton Baird expressing concern about her seventeen year old son.)

**THE CARMINE HOUSE, JACINTO; EIGHTEEN YEARS AGO; THREE YEARS BEFORE E-DAY.**

Damon sat next to Lia on the couch, her hand atop his, silently waiting for her father to explode from the bombshell they'd just dropped on him. When he didn't, Damon didn't know whether to be relieved or worried. It would have been easier if her father would have responded as his mother would have: with cold condemnation and veiled threats.

"You're seventeen," her father said finally. "You're both only _seventeen_ for chrissakes."

"We're a few months away from being eighteen, sir."

He wasn't sure why he even felt the need to point that out. Truth was, he wasn't sure why he was saying anything at that moment. He should have let Lia handle this conversation with her father. He knew that he was no good with this type of bullshit. He had absolutely no experience with family heart-to-hearts-his own family waging civilized warfare rather than openly discussing their problems. He also lacked Lia's unerring ability for diplomacy, for knowing when to keep her mouth shut.

"I know that you are both nearing eighteen, Damon," Lucas Carmine said. "It's the fact that you're _seventeen_ and asking to get married that has my mind boggled at this moment. Do you honestly _want_ to be married at such a young age?" If there was one thing that Lia could always count on her father to do, it was ask the really hard questions. "Do you have any idea just how difficult being married even is?" he asked in all seriousness. "Adults _twice_ your age struggle with being married."

"Dad," Lia heard whispers from the study; her brothers must be listening and knowing them, having a good laugh about this. She vowed to get them later. "We realize that this is kinda sudden and everything..."

"Just a bit, pumpkin," he smiled warmly as he squatted in front of his only daughter and looked into eyes that were as gray as his own. "Honey, I want you to answer me this honestly- are you pregnant? Is that why the two of you are in such a rush to get married?"

"Dad, no. I'm not pregnant."

Lia felt her cheeks warm. But she had always been able to tell her father anything, no matter how personal it was or how embarrassing. It wasn't like she could go to her mother to discuss any of these things. In the mind of Miriam Carmine, _daughters _were nothing but proof of a woman's failure to produce the sons that the Coalition needed. Her mother had had no time for her only daughter, had happily turned her upbringing over to her father so that she could devote the majority of her time and affection to her sons. Which was fine with both Lia and her father.

"Then why this rush to get married?"

"It was my idea, sir." For some reason he just couldn't seem to keep his mouth shut. "I asked Lia to marry me."

Lucas turned to look at the blonde haired youth. He'd always liked this overly serious and far too cynical boy, had seen a sadness and loneliness in him that had ignited his paternal Instincts. He'd begun treating Damon like a member of his family because he'd seen that the boy was in desperate need of belonging to a family, of being treated as if he mattered simply because _he _did matter.

"Have you told your folks about your desire to get married, Damon?"

"No, sir." Baird liked Lia's father, had always felt that they had a pretty good relationship. But he'd never done anything to test that relationship before now. "They don't approve of my relationship with Lia."

"I can well imagine that they don't."

Lucas had met Jocelin and Elinor Lytton Baird once-on the night of Lia and Damon's formal ball in fact-but that one time was enough for him to find out that neither of Damon's parents considered his family to even exist within their social sphere. Or his daughter to be good enough for their only son.

"They are going to be extremely angry when they find out that you have gone against their wishes and married a girl they found unsuitable."

"All due respect here, sir, but I don't give a shit how angry my folks get about me marrying Lia."

Baird kept his tone light but there was just enough of an edge in his tone to alert Lia to how dark and turbulent his emotions were at that moment. She slid her fingers between his, squeezed gently to soothe and reassure him. He glanced at her.

"I love her and she loves me. Nothing that my parents say, nothing that they do is going to change or _stop _us from loving each other."

Lucas was silent as he contemplated the dark and bitter anger that had suffused his face. There was little doubt in his mind that Damon loved his daughter. Just as he was sure that there was nothing this boy wouldn't do in order to make his daughter happy or keep her safe. His lips quirked.

"Yeah, that's what I figured you'd say."

Lia studied her father's face. It was weathered and lined, like it always was. And there was no outward appearance of anger or dismay on his face. But something seemed...off to her.

"Are you disappointed, dad?"

She wasn't sure why she thought that the something off she sensed was disappointment, because he wasn't acting like he was disappointed; but this was a far different type of situation and the typical parental reactions did not necessarily apply. He seemed more reflective than he did disappointed, rather like he did whenever he was thinking about something from his past that he didn't like thinking about. _Or that troubled him, _she thought silently.

"Not _disappointed, _no. Would I prefer if you waited until you were older, had graduated from the Academy and gotten more experience with the world before you got married?" He nodded. "Yes, I would. But... that's not your choice. And I respect that this is _your _choice."

"Getting married allows us to apply for married housing at the Academy," Lia pointed out.

Beside her, Baird snorted. Leave it to Lia to look at the practical, logistical side of a situation, he thought. But it was that practical, logical mind that he loved most about her. Unlike the majority of their graduating class at Olafson Intermediary-whom he equivocated as being better used as plant food-Lia possessed an IQ in the three digit range.

"And considering that Damon's parents will cut him off financially once they find out that we've gotten married..." her voice trailed off as she realized her blunder.

"So," her father said, suddenly realizing why they were in a rush to get married.

It all made sense now he thought as he studied the two seated in front of him. He had known that Baird's parents were pressuring him into enlisting, that they were threatening to cut him off from his inheritance if he didn't enlist and had selected a girl they found suitable for him to marry, but he hadn't realized that the pressure had gotten to that critical of a point.

"Your folks have tightened the screws that much, Damon?"

Baird sat forward.

"I won't lie and say that they haven't been threatening to cut me off if I don't enlist for a tour of duty. And I won't lie and say that they haven't been pressuring me to break it off with Lia and announce my engagement to the girl they've selected for me. But sir," he said in all seriousness now. "I'm not marrying Lia because I want to get back at them. I'm marrying her because I love her and can't imagine my life without her."

Lucas stared into Baird's face, silent for a moment, and then he smiled slowly before extending his hand towards his soon to be legal son-by-law.

"And that was the answer that I was waiting to hear son."

"You're going to give us your permission then?"

Baird asked as he clasped hands with the older gentleman. "You will sign the consent form for us? Appear with us in front of the magistrate?"

He almost couldn't believe that her father was being so open-minded and supportive about this. His parents wouldn't have been. In fact, his parents would have had him committed to a mental hospital for observation before shipping him off to a boarding school.

"Yes, son, I am."

"Dad-thanks for being so understanding and supportive about this. It means a lot," she cut her eyes over to Damon. "To the both of us."

"Princess," Lucas pulled his daughter into a fierce hug. "I still have my reservations, I won't lie. But I'm wise enough to realize that allowing you two to get married now or making you wait six months won't really change that. And who knows," he leaned back to look at her, smiled. "You two could be like your mother and I and actually make it."

"Speaking of mom," she said slowly. "I should go and tell her."

"I'll tell your mother," her father said. He looked over at Damon. "You really should go and tell your folks."

"Uh-" telling his parents was the last thing he wanted to do. "I'd rather wait until after Lia and I get married, sir."

"Want me to come with you? Act as a buffer?"

"Thanks, but-"

"You're worried that your father will utilize his connections to stop you from getting married, aren't you?"

"Yes, sir."

"Well, I might not have as many connections as your father, but I do have a few friends in the magistrate's office we can prevail upon if it becomes necessary."

Lucas Carmine was not afraid of fighting fire with fire. But he only chose to go that route if it was absolutely the only road left to be taken. He always did what he felt was right for his family. That was, Damon swore to himself, the type of man that he wanted to be. The kind of man who did what he had to, who protected and supported his family, defended them from whomever and whatever threatened to harm them. He vowed to complete his studies, get a placement in some computer related field, and make something of himself for his wife and any future children that they might have. Just thinking about the possibilities the future presented filled him with hope and contentment. It wasn't going to be easy, he knew. But that was the point; if you wanted something bad enough, you had to fight to get it, and fight even harder in order to keep it. His parents making life difficult for the Carmine's as well as for him and Lia was definitely a concern, but knowing that he had a family he could count upon, who'd be there to help if they were needed, made all the difference in the world.

* * *

The rest of the week became an avalanche of activity. At the Academy's registration office, Damon waited for Lia to finish getting signed up for her Harvest classes. He could hear staff members talking in a small alcove on his right.

"That's definitely Magistrate Baird's son," a female voice was saying.

It was bitter tasting to be here at the Academy and still only seen in terms of his father, not himself. It was a stigma that had haunted him throughout his life, made it difficult for him to trust, to believe that people saw him when they looked at him. It was the same everywhere he went he thought bitterly. People tended to think that they knew _him _simply because they knew his mother or father. And many of those individuals only courted his friendship because they hoped that being friends with him would provide them extra little perks. It was a stain that he planned on washing away. If it was the last thing that he did, he was going to carve out a niche in this world that was uniquely, singularly _his_.

"I'm sure his parents must be pleased that he's finally decided on becoming an officer."

"Such a waste if you ask me," said another voice. Male this time. "Give that guy a piece of machinery and he can do damn near anything with it. He should be going into the engineering corps if you ask me."

"You don't think he will?"

"His mama would pitch a fit if her only son chose a profession that didn't meet with her lofty social standards."

Well, they'd got that right. His mom had been adamantly against his attending the Academy for anything less than a degree in either military law or justice. And that was after he did a basic tour as a Gear. It did not matter what he wanted or how he felt about what they'd planned for his life. His hopes and his dreams were meaningless to them. Preserving their social image was all that mattered to Jocelin and Ellinor Lytton Baird. And if they had to sacrifice their son in order to accomplish that, then so be it. Lia came towards him then, sliding her class schedule into a blue folder. She saw that his eyes had gone hard and cold as ice.

"What's wrong?" she asked, concerned. "Didn't you get the classes that you wanted?"

"I was just thinking about how my folks are going to pitch a shit fit is all," he said. He took her folder from her, tossed her a smirk before hooking his arm around her waist. "And I got all the classes I wanted-including that primatology class you mentioned wanting to take."

"You signed up for my primatology course?" There was surprise as well as pleasure in her eyes, in her voice.

"I did." He pulled her close, kissed her forehead. "Figured it was fair considering you signed up for my telecommunications class."

She blinked her eyes wide, the picture of innocence. "I signed up for telecommunications because it will come in handy when I do my next rotation in the CIC."

He snorted out a laugh. "Yeah. Whatever you say, Lia." It was a game they'd been playing since Intermediary. Back when taking classes together was the only way they had to spend time together. "We know why we signed up for each others classes."

Lia angled her head, gave him an impish smile. "Just because you're about to become a married man that will have to live up to your vows of honor and cherishing me doesn't mean everything about our relationship has changed."

"Just try and remember that honor, cherish and obey are part of _your_ vows, will ya?"

"And I vow to make you fulfill every one of yours," she said with mock severity.

"Oh, you're just frigging hilarious."

But his life was going his way he realized as she slid her arm around his waist. He was about to start taking the classes that _he _wanted to take, he was finally free of his parents threats and manipulation, and he was about to marry the prettiest girl in the whole Coalition. His life couldn't get any better really.

* * *

Baird nursed one glass of wine at his wedding dinner, almost as if he was afraid that if he imbibed in too much that he might do, or say something that he'd end up regretting. That he was cognizant of his motor mouth and doing everything he could to not spoil the evening served to prove to Lucas Clayton Carmine Jr. the depth of respect and feelings Damon held not only for his wife, but for her family as well. But it was not just weird for him to think of Damon S. Baird as being a married man at the ripe age of seventeen, but of him being married to his _twin_ sister. Even as he thought it though, Clay told himself that he really shouldn't have been surprised that they'd gotten married. Baird and Lia had been close when they'd been children and become inseparable once they hit puberty. But there was still a part of Clay that was concerned for them, and for the road that lay ahead of them. For all that they were nearly adults, they were still two kids embarking on a journey that most adults twice their age never completed.

_I know he'll take good care of Lia, _he thought as he studied the silent man next to him_. He loves her, I know that he does. And we'll be here to help them if the road gets to tough for them._

"I've got to talk it over with Lia," Baird said, turning to look at Clay. "but I'm planning on getting a job at the Academy. A job," he snorted a laugh. "Imagine what my folks will say when they find out that I'm working some menial low-paying job."

"Lia will want you to focus on your studies, you know. And so will dad-"

"No, I'm going to get a job."

"Damon..."

"I've got a wife to think about now, Clay." Baird said it firmly. Decisively. "I plan on doing whatever I have to in order to take care of her."

"Sure, that's what I'd expect you to do." Clay thumped him on the shoulder, shot him an easy going grin. "Just don't forget that you're married to _my _sister and that she's as stubborn as a mule when she gets a notion in her head about something."

"Think I don't know that?"

"Don't know what?" Daniel Carmine asked as he ambled up to his older brother and new brother-in-law. Clay rumpled the fifteen-year-olds hair playfully.

"None of your business, squirt."

"Hey, who you callin' a _squirt_?" Daniel demanded in a mock-serious voice. "I'm almost as tall as you are bru!"

Clay smirked. "But nowhere near as good looking."

"That's a matter of opinion," Daniel replied with a lopsided grin.

"Only opinion that matters is mine little brother."

"Well the opinions of some very lovely ladies _I_ know are that you're as ugly as the Galangi boar," he smirked. "And that you smell like one, too."

"You must not have heard them correctly then."

"Oh, trust me bru," Daniel said. "I heard them correctly. _Smelly_ and _ugly_ were definitely how they described you."

Clay caught his brother in a bear hug. "Oh, yeah?" he growled playfully. "Well we'll see about that!"

More than happiness rippled through Baird as he watched the brothers playfully scuffle. Here was family, and the uncomplicated affection of a bond that had sprung up during childhood. And some bonds, he realized as he looked across the room, clashed gazes with Lia, could not be broken no matter how hard an outside force tried to break them.

* * *

**KING RAVEN KR-239,**

**EN ROUTE TO PORT FARRALL.**

"Baird, you got any objections to us going back for Mataki?"

Marcus's voice snapped Baird back to the present. He glanced over his shoulder, saw that Marcus was staring at him, his face patiently expectant. But his eyes, he saw, were set in that _don't-smart-off-or-else _way_. _Baird wisely chose to shake his head. It wasn't that he was afraid of what Marcus might do if he smarted off so much as he wasn't exactly sure what he'd be popping off about. He only had a vague recollection of his comm crackling, of there being a distress call and a brief, but intense discussion between Sorotki and Marcus about going back to rescue Mataki. It wasn't like he was going to refuse to go back and rescue Mataki, anyway. _Shit, of course we've gotta go back for Granny, _was his only thought. _Even though she annoys the hell outta me, she's still a Gear. And I don't leave Gears behind. Not when I can do something about it. _

A voice in the back of his head whispered to him about another time when he'd gone out of his way to save Gears who were in trouble and the near fatal ramifications that his decision had nearly caused for not only himself, but for his entire squad as well. _Shit, have I ever talked with Marcus about what happened that day in Halvo_? He wondered if Marcus was even aware that it had been him and Kilo-and man didn't that dredge up a shitload of memories?-who had defied orders and used the Lightmass Missile in hopes of taking down the Locust General Karn. Somehow, he doubted it. It was not something that either he or Cole liked discussing. And while he and Marcus were squad mates, had put their lives on the line for each other countless times over the last two years, they weren't exactly what you'd call _friendly_. It was something he told himself that he would work upon once they got to Port Farrall. _After I find Lia and Alex I will make more of an effort at cultivating a friendship with Marcus. And with Dom_, he vowed silently. In a world that was as fucked as theirs was, having friends made all the difference. And if there was one thing that he was absolutely certain of; it was that neither Dom nor Marcus saw him for who his family was, but for who _he_ was.

Marcus clasped Dom on the shoulder. "Hey...you with us?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm with you Marcus." Dom heard himself speak without really knowing what it was that he was saying. Baird glanced over at him, saw that he was standing at the Raven doors and staring down at the ocean that was far below. There was a suspicious sheen to his eyes that unnerved Baird because of how telling it was to the grief and anguish hammering at the guy. To give the man some privacy in which to grieve, Baird glanced down and saw a battalion of sea vessels-hovercrafts, rust-streaked trawlers and tankers mostly-churning away from Jacinto as fast as their rudders or sails could manage. Leading them almost proudly was a group of _Raven's Nest _class carriers followed by a fleet of NCOG warships that were clearly overdue for decommission. Where these ships had been kept for the last few years and how they hadn't been found and destroyed by the grubs he didn't know, but they were definitely a more than welcome sight. _Maybe we aren't as fucked as I think we are_. Sorotki banked the Raven to the left, allowing Baird a brief glimpse of a flat black tubular shape right on the waterline.

"Shit, would you look at that," he said in an awed voice. "We've got an actual fucking submarine that is still operational." He glanced at Dom. "Man, I've just got to find a way to get on board that thing."

Dom could tell by Baird's tone that his fingers were just itching with the desire to get at the subs controls. _Like a kid let loose in a toy store_, he thought with a slight smile. But the familiarity of it was soothing to Dom's frayed nerves. Machines and technology were to Damon Baird what Dom's family and friends were to him.

"Maybe you'll get your chance to play with the sub once we get to Port Farrall," he said finally.

"It's something worth looking forward too at least." Beyond being reunited with his wife and son, he added silently. "It's not like we've got much else to look forward to at this point. We are officially in the shit," Baird made a sweeping motion with his hand. "All the way up to _here_."

Dom knew Baird had a point. It was clear from the amount of salvaged land and sea vehicles just how deep in the shit their civilization was. The shabby state of the vessels he saw as well as the fact that they were all banging out of Jacinto with essentially everything they owned in the world strapped to their backs made that fact abundantly clear. But Dom knew that every member of the human race had imagined the end of the war in a different way. For him, his end had included finding Maria alive and well and reclaiming the life that had been stolen from them on E-Day.

"We knew what could happen once we went down and started fighting the Locust on their own turf. We've had EVAC plans in place for years."

"You mean Prescott knew what could happen and just didn't feel like explaining it to the rest of us peons."

Again, he knew Baird had a point. "What's done is done," he said logically. "Now that the Locust are gone-"

_Just like she's gone_.

_And you were the one that made her that way._

Dom ground to a halt mid-sentence. For a few seconds he'd been able to think about Maria without being assaulted by the visual memory of their last moments together. But the memory of what happened in that detention center came crashing back now with a vengeance. His free hand began to shake and he had to grab hold of the rail in order to keep it steady. What he wanted-_needed_ was five fucking minutes of nothing going on inside his head so that he could pull his shit together. But the images of those last moments with Maria ripped through his visual stream at breakneck speed, taunting and tormenting him with the truth of what he'd done. He had to screw his eyes shut and turn his face away from the open bay door lest he threw up.

This was worse than when he'd lost his brother and buddies at Aspho, much worse even than losing his parents and children on E-Day had been. He'd had an enemy then to blame for their deaths, an enemy he could vent his anger and hatred upon, that he could fixate on. Having something to fight had helped him to cope with those losses, had kept him from sinking into a deep and dark depression, from giving up. But now that the fighting was done, now that the grubs were mostly gone, the pain of everyone that he'd lost came flooding back. The Locust threat had been exterminated. The world could finally begin the long process of starting over. Life should be looking up for the people of Sera. But Maria was gone now too, more gone then she'd been for the last ten years, and he was struggling with finding a reason to even care about waking up in the morning much less to worry about starting his life over.

_I don't deserve to start my life over. Not after what I've done_.

It would be easy, very easy he realized, to just fling himself out the Raven's door. The churning waters below would envelop him in their watery arms, comforting and soothing his torment, serving as both his-and Maria's-final resting place. He deserved to die for being the cold-blooded bastard he was. He should have tried harder to find her, should have done more to save her. But he hadn't. He'd given up on her in the end, put a bullet in her brain so that he didn't have to look at her and be reminded of what a failure he was as both a husband and a Gear. His torment must have shown because he felt something clack against his back armor plates, knocking him out of his cocoon of self-castigation and pitting him back in the present.

He turned his head and was startled to find that it was _Baird _who had clipped a safety line to his belt. That just wasn't like the _me-me-me _Baird that Dom knew and spooked him as nothing he'd seen in his years as a Commando ever had. If it had been Marcus who'd clipped the line to his belt, he'd have understood and accepted that he'd done it as a precaution against any surprise attack they might encounter from Locust that had not been caught in the wake of the flood. But Marcus was his brother and those kinds of actions were part of his normal patterns of behavior. Damon Baird showing that level of concern and regard just told you that you weren't dealing with shit as well as you thought you were. But at least he wasn't still trying to humor him, or offering any token words of assurance or sympathy. It wasn't like he could continue to pretend that he hadn't heard what he'd said to Cole anyway. They both knew he had but was being decent by not making a comment about it.

Baird stuck close to Dom's side, shaken by the empty, glassy-eyed look that had been on his face just a few seconds before he'd clipped the safety line to his belt. He'd been a Gear long enough to know the signs of a fellow Gear that was on the brink and about to take the plunge. That Dom hadn't blown his brains out in the Hollow was an amazing thing to him. If it had been him in Dom's position, he didn't know what he would have done, or how'd he have acted. A life without Lia was not something he contemplated, that he gave even a moments thought too. But it was clear that they were all going to have to keep a close watch until Dom had gotten through this initial stage of shock and grief. He glanced at Marcus but saw that he was sweeping the waters on the other side of the Raven for signs of Mataki. He made a mental note to discuss his concerns about Dom's state of mind with him once they got a quiet moment in Port Farrall. _And if Marcus doesn't believe me about what I saw, I know that Lia will_.

"Delta, this is Alpha-7."

Lia's voice crackled in Baird's comm and threatened to send him down to his knees, his relief was so deep and profound. But even after Cole had told him that she was safe, that she'd made it out of Jacinto, he'd struggled with believing it was true. Hearing her voice let him know for sure that she was safe, that she was alright, that she was en route to Port Farrall and would be there when he got there.

"There could be other Gears or civilians left stranded by the flood. We're up for the assist if you want the help."

"Aren't there some minor boo boos waiting for you in Port Farrall, Red?" It was a struggle to sound like his usual, cocky self when his head was crowded with a thousand things that begged to be said; _I love you. I'm never letting you leave my side again. I love you. _"Or have the civvies finally figured out how to apply their own Band-Aids?"

"Well," Lia said dryly. "I see that not even a Lambent Brumak was able to curb that smart mouth of yours, Corporal."

_I love you. I'm okay. It's all going to be okay from now. See you in Port Farrall._

It was all code. It was always a code. Their way of telling each other what they weren't allowed to say out loud. For nearly fifteen years they'd kept their marriage a secret by utilizing whatever means that they'd had to. Every glance they cast at each other had been surreptitiously cast. Every word that they spoke to the other had to fit within the realms of their professional relationship. Even the downtime that they did have together, as limited as that amount of time had become over the last few years, was lived in secret. But they'd managed to find a way to make their marriage _work_. And in Baird's mind, the fact that they had made it work said loudly that the rules that the Coalition had no longer applied. But for the moment he knew that he had to continue to play along. Because nobody but Anya and Cole knew their secret. And telling the world over an open comm link wasn't the way that he wanted to go about announcing that he was a happily married man. So he made a _ffff_ sound and said; "Red, they don't make grubs big enough to keep me quiet."

"I'll send them a note and ask them to try harder."

Yea, it was all code between them. But their bond was stronger today than it was when they'd first gotten married because of the level of adversity that they had faced-both from within the Coalition and from the opposing force threatening to exterminate all of humankind. If there was one thing he'd learned in eighteen years of being a married man, it was that some bonds were worth living and dying for. And that there were some bonds, he thought as he glanced over at Dom, that were so sacred that they continued to exist long after death.


End file.
